Tulsa Rules: Pop up Shops and Blue Dome Props!

Happy Holidays Friends and Neighbors!

By now you have likely heard the good word about the wonderful things happening in and around downtown Tulsa.  If you are one of those who has been looking for something new and is a bit confused by the cacophony of ideas this time of year, allow me to offer some great choices for you.  


First and foremost I am here to tell you about an awesome opportunity not only for you to shop with but for  Tulsa and downtown's revival to a grander state.  The Deco District is opening up several stores for the holiday season.  These stores are great folks with awesome stuff and in such beautiful architecture all around you.


Secondly the Blue Dome District is once again there with the Holiday Parade of Lights.  Last year we had to call to arms as it was threatened by the PC folks who wanted to do boycotts over the name being inclusive of all people who believe in something this time of year.  This year those folks are having their own parade that won't let the other faiths join in their reindeer games.   The Holiday Parade of Lights will offer something for anyone who wants to come.  Very cool.


Third of course is Winterfest.  Right outside the BOK Center.  Ice Skating, festivalities and more!  Drop by and check it out, you can't miss it!


I will be enjoying all the season has to offer.  Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose?   Downtown.


Pop Up Shops
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Deco-District-Holiday-Pop-Up-Shop/242325935823857?sk=wall


Holiday Parade
https://www.facebook.com/events/172697502823043/


Winterfest
https://www.facebook.com/winterfest.tulsa?sk=info


Be excellent to each other,
(-
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~BAT

The Holiday Acceleration Formula Retrograde Adjustment

Happy Holidays Friends and Neighbors!  So there is a lot of talk about the stores that are opening their doors earlier and earlier each year.  This year even so early as 10 p.m. on Thursday.   All the hue and cry about this is really stupid.   I completely dismiss for you the whole "Family" issue because if family is important to you, you will not even consider going before you want to anyway so it is a moot point (unless you want to tell somebody else how to live... no never!)
Think about it, the earlier you open, the less special you appear.  Particularly with a store like Wal-Mart, who cares?  You want to be smart about it, follow my orders.... open later.
That is right, later.  If everyone opens at say 2 a.m. they are all fighting for that early shopping time.  If your store opens at say 5 a.m. you will get both the people who did not want to get up earlier and those who have already hit the 2 a.m. crowd.  Spread it around, people aren't as likely to spend all their money in one store anyway, particularly for hours.  Let that sink in.  Yep, I am right.  So impress me and open with door busters at 8 a.m. and see what kind of press you get.  Imagine the lines being seen in the daylight!  People driving by and getting enticed.  It will work well for you.  Class Dismissed.

Be excellent to each other,  
(-
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~BAT

31 horror reviews #12- The Last House On The Left

Vengeance Friends and Neighbors. This movie is a great movie about revenge. Both the original and the remake are excellent examples of the genre. Mari gets in real trouble. When she is raped and kidnapped she has the wherewithal to trick her captors into taking her nearer to her house. She and her friend are left for dead and the captors actually take refuge at Mari's house. Soon her parents discover the truth. Now it is their turn to do a little torture. So awesome.
Watch it soon!
I give it 9/10.
Be excellent to each other.
(-
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~BAT

31 horror reviews #11- A Nightmare on Elm Street

One two, Friends and Neighbors. Wes Craven's 1984 masterpiece is indeed a great movie. Certainly there are flaws however the tale of Freddy Kreuger begins strong here. Nancy fights the evil in some of the most surreal terror of the series. This is well before Freddy became a complete joke, but he does play for some laughs. Also the debut of Johnny Depp is notable. He dies inal a most gruesome manner.
I give this one 8/10.
Be excellent to each other.
(-
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~BAT

Horror Reviews #10- Night of the Living Dead

They're coming to get you friends and neighbors. Night is the best of the Romero movies. It established a genre and is simply horrifying. Ben faces off against a hysterical Barbara, the tyrannically short sighted Cooper oh and there are zombies too.
I give it 10/10.
Be excellent to each other.
(-
=)
~BAT

31 Horror Reviews #9 Horror Hotel or City of the Dead

Hi Friends and Neighbors.  You a fan of Rob Zombie?  How about White Zombie?  There is a difference isn't there.  Well you have no doubt known that Rob is a fan of the old school horror.  One of these is Horror Hotel or City of the Dead.  That opening dialogue, "Superstition, fear, jealousy" is from this movie.  Spoken by Christopher Lee.  Pretty cool.  So here we have a college girl who goes off to a town where she is not supposed to go.  Lo and behold the people there are strange, puritanical and just a bit off.  Still she stays - until she is stabbed.  Why?  Sacrifice.  This town is old man, like really old.  Over 300 years old.  Blood sacrifice keeps them around.  They worship the devil.  Our hero may change midway, but the story is the strong.  It has been compared to psycho in this way, both coming out at the same time one can see the similarities.  It is like Deep Impact and Armageddon in that way.  Psycho was better, but still this is a good one.  So I suggest you watch it.  It is public domain, so likelyhood holds that you can get it for a buck just about anywhere or even Netflix it. 
I give it 6/10 for being so neat.
Be excellent to each other.
(-
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~BAT

31 Horror Reviews #8 Dracula A.D.1972

Groovytimes Friends and Neighbors.  This review is for Dracula A.D. 1972.  A wonderoulsy magnificent film about a bunch of brittish mod-hippie-punk-counter culture types who get involved in the black arts and summon the great Dracula.  Now this is the first of the modern Dracula tales by Hammer.  It stars the greats Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing.  A good movie in the making.
So the begining is pretty much the storyline of Hair, well the dinner scene.  Much like any good bunch of teens in the late 60's and early 70's these kids are running around leeching off of the establishment.  What is better than getting free food and trashing some rich guy's house?  Well that gets boring, what with the cops and all coming to bust them, so they head to their club to discuss their next outing.  Why not summon something in a ritual?  So about a third of the way into the movie we discover that these kids are influenced by a creepy dude that apparently serves Dracula.  What is more?  The main girl is Van Helsing's decendant!  Okay now we have something.  Following a series of dull events, soon both Van Helsing and Dracula are back and doing battle.  Dracula's kills are neat but not too over the top.  Hippie kids die.  It is grand.
Watch this one, but only after the rest of the Hammer series, they are not too bad.
I give this one 7/10 since so much of the movie is non-Dracula.
Be excellent to each other,
(-
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~BAT

31 Horror Reviews #7 Ghoulies

I'm late Friends and Neighbors!  Okay so I guess I missed the deadlines here on a couple of these... however I will be keeping true to the spirit of this endeavor.  The next few episodes will consist of a catchup of the horror reviews and the total will be 31 - you have my word as a hero.   What's more, I will not skimp on the quality that you have come to expect out of Tales to Astonish, so never fear.  We will be posting multiple issues per day so keep reading. 
As I have told you before, I used to love looking at the covers of horror videos that I was never able to rent and imagine how cool they were by the artwork.  One such film that I had wonderful ideas about was Ghoulies.  Some green monster comes out of the toilet to get you?  Awesome right?  Well, I watched it the other day on Netflix... bad move.  The movie is terrible.
First of all, the movie is all about demonic summoning.  It is more like a D&D movie with a ritual than what it appears to be on the poster.  So yeah, dude inherits a house, has college parties and then raises a dead warlock guy.  Warlock apparently is his father... yeah of course he is his father.  Next thing you know we witness the breakdown of his life and the new warlock father takes over and tries to kill the dude's girl.  The supporting cast does have the 'ghoulies' but they are not nearly as cool as hoped.  There are these two dwarfs that are pretty cool.  Again, this is a D&D movie, not really a horror film, though it is horrible.
I give it a 2/10 for the two dwarfs.  They were neat.
Be excellent to each other,
(-
=)
~BAT

31 Horror Reviews #6 Phantasm

Terrifying times Friends and Neighbors. This review is all about one of the most acclaimed yet relatively lame horror movies ever. Of course I am talking about Phantasm. Yeah, the one with the silver ball. As a youth I used to look at the horror movie covers at the video store and one of the most scary ones was that silver ball. What did it do? Where did it come from?
So I watched this crap. The creepy "tall man" is spooky. However most of the story is terribly full of conjecture. Who knows what is supposed to be going on? Some kid and his older brother or something are messing around with this guy's operation - which appears to be taking bodies under the guise of a mortician. He has no powers, but is maybe invincible. He has minions and this magic flying ball at his disposal. Oh and a mirror that goes to a parallel dimension or something. Blah blah, nothing makes sense.
So the ball scene. All you need to see is this and maybe the tall man walking around. Well the kid is running around the tall man's pad and here comes flying a silver ball to kill the kid. Oh yeah it has blades and drills that come out. Well it misses the kid and gets another guy in the face. This is kinda cool. It hits his face and drills his brain so hard that the man pees his pants.
Otherwise the movie is crap.
I give it 3/10 for the creepy tall man.
Be excellent to each other.
(-
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~BAT

31 Horror Reviews #5 - Puppet Master

Pull the strings Friends and Neighbors. Today I will review a more well known classic, the direct to video Puppet Master. This movie introduced the world to the puppet creations of the old Puppet Master Toulon.
Toulon you see was an old man who had some puppets way back in the 30s. Well wouldn't you know the Nazis come along and kill Toulon. His nice puppet friends are sad and locked away in the walls of his hotel room.
Flash forward to the 80s. A group of friends apparently are each some sort of psychic and are all called to the funeral of a former member of their group. This part is like the Big Chill but with murders. The puppets start killing people and damn it looks like things are all messed up.
So you kinda get some backstory now, Toulan apparently knew ancient Egyptian secrets about animating the inanimate. Now their dead friend has used the power on himself and became a living dead puppet. What is worse he has taken control of the puppets of Toulan! Well never fear in the end our heroes, I refer to the puppets here as heroes since they are who you watch this stuff for. The jester is the leader and he sees his master acting all evil and decides to revolt, killing their master with he help of pinhead and blade. The lead character survives by the skin of his hide and lives to escape into insanity. The puppets are left to their own devices.
This film is a good one, worthy of watching a couple times.
I give this movie 8/10 for Harryhausen like effects and a generally cool feeling.
Be excellent to each other,
(-
=)
~BAT

31 Horror Reviews #4 - Zombie Women of Satan

Oi there Friends and Neighbors!  Going from Compton last time to London - well somewhere in the Brittish Isles.  So now I review Zombie Women of Satan.  Oh yes indeed this is one jolly rotten flick.  It features the wonderful world of brittish / irish freak show performers who stumble ass backwards into a zombie-like nightmare.  Our heroes, including the Pervo the Clown and Zeus the midget strongman, go on a television / internet show wherein they are trapped by the oddest family since the Firefly crew.  Unbeknownst to any of them, the family is running some sort of brothel, experimentation freak fest of their own.
Honestly the movie is pretty funny, but it is absolutely nonsensical.  These folks fight with each other more than the zombies.  The zombies are in reality some sort of infected...something... they never seem to say.  But let's get real Friends and Neighbors, the only thing this movie is about is showing half naked girls covered in blood attacking stupid people.  Watch it for laughs.   Spoiler alert- there is no mention of Satan what-so-ever.
I give this flick a 5/10 because it shows plenty of humor and is relatively vaudevillian performance.
As always,
Be excellent to each other.
(-
=)
~BAT

31 Horror Reviews #3 - Mutant Vampire Zombies from the Hood

Check yo self Friends and Neighbors.  Today's movie review is Straight Outta Compton.   Perhaps one of the saddest zombie movies I have ever been subjected to, "Mutant Zombie Vampires from the Hood" stars C. Thomas Howell as a police officer who is out to catch the hoodlums dealing drugs in the inner city.   He and his partner, we will call him Murtaugh, get in a shoot out as the leader of the asian gang (we will call them Dragons) and the leader of the black gang (the bloods) are in a dispute over a hostage / drug deal/  Along comes a solar flare - oh my!  This proceeds to knock everyone unconscious.
They awaken to find that the world has changed.  After some time the bloods leader meets up with his friend who has been killed by zombies.  Luckily he is saved by the old mexican man, Julio.  You can't make this up folks.  So after showing the bloods leader how the zombies are terrible and monsters, in a scene that is absolutely hilarious wherein our heros watch - via binoculars from a nearby building - as zombies rip the arm off of a helpless woman and proceed to eat it.  Oh, but before they eat the arm they also of course rip her clothes off so she goes running topless at the camera and presumed armless safety...  This girl is actually credited as "Gratuitous Nudity Zombie."  At least they don't take themselves seriously.
So the obligatory team up for survival happens, cop and gangster and gangster set out to find safety.  Along the way they encounter a woman and her father who have the answers, maybe.  They find it hard to get to safety when all of the zombies are not only semi-aware but also quite randy.  Yep, apparently the zombies that come from a solar flare become rapists.  Geez.  Still the final solution remains elusive and you can predict the rest.
I give this one 4/10 on because of C. Thomas Howell and the cajones to use rapist zombies.
As always,
Be excellent to each other.
(-
=)
~BAT

31 Horror Reviews #2 - Zombiethon

Blargh Friends and Neighbors!  Today's review is for a simple little flick that came out of the home video boom of the mid 1980s, a feature created directly for home video called "Zombiethon."  This is a real gem of a picture.  It takes several zombie movies and shows all of the best parts in clip format.  These clips are framed loosely with the story of several women running for their lives into an old theater only to find that the zombies are inside watching the shows.  

Part one features "Zombi" - Lucio Fulci's half sequel to "Dawn of the Dead."  Here you can see all the best scenes of zombie killing and even the famous zombie vs. shark scene without having to watch the rest of the movie.  Shown in sequence and in bloody detail, witness the story told in an incoherent way that somehow still makes sense.   

Part two brings us "Zombie Lake" which is probably best viewed here.  From what we at Tales can tell is that some Nazi's were killed and thrown in the lake.  Then some skinny dippers came along years later and the sight of all the naked girls turned the Nazis into zombies and they attacked.   Not a great film at all, but this one is not watched for good, I think this was an attempt at zombie porn.  In that case it is Skinamax worthy.

"Oasis of the Dead", "Fear" and "Virgin among the living dead" come along and bewilder us at this point with the questions of why and the thankfulness that this is only Netflix.  Blargh indeed.  

"The Invisible Dead" provides us with an interesting look at an invisible man who attacks the living... especially naked girls.  However the next thing you know it appears he is not a man but a monkey-thing?  Yeah... that is what I said.

Finally the film features "The Astro-Zombies" which is all about aliens being made into zombies... but there is some evil Chinese woman and some other guys in the mob... oh who knows it is terribad.  

So there you have "Zombiethon"  Check it out if you are looking for some laughs.  

I give it 4/10 on the Bat-scale due to "Zombi" being featured with the eye in wood scene and the shark.  Also Zombie Lake for having an eight girl skinny dipping scene with Nazi zombies attacking them.  Worth watching for that alone.

As always,

Be excellent to each other.

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~BAT

31 Horror Reviews #1 - Dracula vs Frankenstein

October is here Friends and Neighbors! To celebrate, we will be reviewing 31 horror movies in a row. Yeah that means one per day. Stay tuned folks!
"Dracula vs Frankenstein"
Okay, wow this is a terrible film. This 1971 flick features some heavily cool folks though. Angelo Rossitto is featured in a perfect role, as a barker at a freak show. Also this movie features the final horror appearance of Lon Chaney Jr. Though he performs amazingly given the material, it is clear how the cancer had ravaged his body.
So these hippies come along and discover a mad doctor who is killing people to perform experiments on them. Multiple killings and events occur and finally the police show up to kill everybody. The heroine is the only one to escape. End.
But wait...that was the original movie. Filmed in 1969 Somebody, apparently in a drunken moment, made the call to add Dracula and the Frankenstein monster. So they film some new scenes in 1971 with a clearly aged cast and mix them in to create an even more incoherent story.
So, Dracula shows up. Apparently Dracula here is David Schwimmer's dad, sporting a Jew-fro and bad pancake makeup in his face. He talks with an echo and blinks as he talks. Dracula wants to use the Frankenstein monster to kill people and make Dracula invincible. However, the monster looks like terrible. He sure is strong- can lift a moose, but he appears to have been hit in the face with about 10 baseballs.
So somehow Dracula gets mad, incinerated things with his ring and tries to sacrifice the girl... For no reason...until the monster of course revolts. They fight in the woods and die. Lame
So on the Bat-scale I give it a 2/10. 2 is only because of the two star cameos.
Come back tomorrow!
Be excellent to each other.
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~BAT

The Incinerated Trivia Split Formulation

Good times Friends and Neighbors! Thursday was quite the excellent evening for your heroes. Ms. Bat and I were joined by Franz for adventure. We hit the Blue Dome District and had a great time.
First stop- Joe Momma's Pizza. Good food as always, Thursday nights also feature live local trivia. Our trio fared rather well but were defeated by an enemy team. The trivia is also for a great cause, this week "Turn Tulsa Pink." Franz attempted the incinerator, but three slices in and he was already throwing in the towel. As you know, Franz can handle his hot- but he admitted that this one took a special kind of guy to tackle. Next time perhaps.
The next stop was part of the Ewing Empire by name of the Max Retropub. Karaoke and video games abounded. If you haven't been to the Max, go and watch some 80's cartoons and party like it is 1985 with some old school pac-man or ski-ball.
Finally we stopped in the newly opened Dust Bowl lanes. Yes Friends and Neighbors, there is a bowling alley in downtown! I can tell you that it is a class act. The lanes are nice and the whole place has a vintage 70's feel. Full bar and food as well make it a fantastic spot to spend an evening, however the crowing achievement is that they offer the Ziggy Piggie!!!!! Yes, straight outta one other excellent adventure, this ice cream treat feeds 20 people. Legendary! Franz and Ms. Bat. Were a great challenge for me, even so far as Franz beat my score.
That was the end of the night, hope you have some things to look into seeing downtown. Give me a call and we can hang out and bowl.
As always, be excellent to each other.
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~BAT

Assignment: Blog

For real Friends and Neighbors, your hero has an assignment in class to begin keeping a blog.  Well this is indeed a very decent idea - sort of the shot in the arm to get Tales to Astonish back up and running.  We took a hiatus over the summer and what with the fall weather it is time. 

So I will summarize and combine the worlds as it were, just to let you all know what this is about, those of you who are not familiar with Tales to Astonish and those who were not familiar with this class that is.  Tales to Astonish is the legendary adventures of our heroes and the awesome things happening in and around the most amazing T-town.   This class that I am taking is all about the communications world.  It is very informative and features media professionals coming in all the time to talk about the conventional aspects and how this is a new age that breaks all conventions. 

To those of you who have been with us before, expect much of the same blended with the new.  Some of the articles (blogs, essays, column, musings - all the same ya know)  will be returning.  Here is a sample of what I plan to restore...

The Original Adventure Stories - the legendary adventures of Mr. Bat and his awesome friends.
Tulsa Rocks - the weekly Tulsa informative column about how great this town is.
This Week I Have Been Mostly Watching - What television and movies and even music I will mini-review.
Overdue Reviews - Movies that we all have probably seen now finally getting my in depth personal review.
Ms. Bat's Musings - She has been very busy but the lady bat will return.
Soapbox Sundays - My opinion on how things should be - because I know you all want to know.

As always, be excellent to each other.
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~BAT